i spend my free time smoking cigarettes, another bad habit that i promised to quit. for the moment, the sky wasn't any shade of gray, it wasn't any shade at all. projected my mental catastrophe onto the wreckage we've built, and baby you're bleeding. is it time for us to sleep? i've lost track of rationality and common sense of normality. i just want to be free. these chains weigh so heavy and every day i am becoming more weak, these words that you sing rest inside my brain - rattle with the snakes i've caged - i am the lost episode. we are the untold story. i raise your hand, you raise my voice, every day that passes, it passes so slow. my veins still ache and i blow my brains out with the same verse after verse, i'm falling hard. you're rising fast. same page with different context, mismatch regrets and soulless ***. my home rests inside your eyes, your pupils push me to the edge. i'd run, if i was given the chance and never look back, behind me lies a thousand actions i don't understand. holding on to your hand, hold on with everything i am and everything i have become is a shadow. a cloud of smoke i wish would just choke me, regurgitate the poison that has left me so empty. judge me, abandon me, leave me more broken than i have left myself. i hit the bottom and still couldn't get enough. clinging to defective walls and my chipped fingernails rip piece by piece, inch by inch, this was supposed to be the ending of the bitter *****, but i am afraid i haven't changed. i am afraid of everything. change is a slow process and it thickens with my callouses, breathing deep, counting sheep, i've tried to ride this like a pantomime and in this cell it gets too cold when i'm doing nothing but growing old. I watch your face and i watch the clock, your boredom leaves me overstocked with anxiousness. i kiss your fist, i kiss the sky. heavy is the crown that i wear now.