the pain of holding back the flood. only one way out and it's through. face it. be strong, it won't take you. feel it, become it, trust that madness. revel in it's starkness, it's truth. it's own reality. because when you come out the other side, you may be bruised, bloodied, there will be parts, even, missing. but you will survive improved, intact, lovable and beautiful.
Confronted with fears of the mind, sometimes you just have to think through them. That is, think _about_ them despite the pain. Revel in bad thought; wear it out. Take the worse-case scenarios even _farther in thought experiments. Embrace the fantasy of something forbidden or impractical (or even impossible). Revel in it in the safe sandbox of your mind. It is your sanctuary, your universe, your workshop to manage life's troubles, free from limits, judgment, or consequence.