in that light
white makes white go black
and those electric blue
waves of radiation
screws through the skull
hours of poison
pumping through the veins
strings grow brittle
and your will
written on my hands
like you stole something
you wanted me to have.

and i would live my life
over again
a million times
if i got to know you
when you were moved
by wind chimes
and the yellow bugs
that like the yellow flowers
would you have
loved me less if
you knew who i could be?

this whole time i’ve been
drinking salt from the ocean
and when you sleep
pressing one hand to your chest
and one to mine
to remember
you’ve got a heartbeat
that makes moves like mine does
because the blood in my veins
is your blood
and it feels like
a wild fire in my ribcage
when i look in the mirror and
see your nose and chin
and i want to die sometimes
so you don’t have to.
and to hear you laugh
every day because i know
no one laughs enough
anymore

the whole time you’ve
been teaching me
how to live
and what you’d leave
behind