I gazed down at your fingertips
holding a mask that always seemed to readily cover your face
whenever emotion threatened
to seep out of you
creating puddles
that could soak my knees
but never did.
And because your stories
are too explicit to repeat
I guess they were told to me
to prevent you
from ever knocking on death's door
to find more answers
like you did
that one December eve.
I was the blood that kept you alive
but failed to keep you satisfied
as if surviving isn't a goal we all should aim to achieve
but a victory that we are blessed with
when we feel we have been defeated
And as hours mold into a day
I realize
some afternoons are not meant to be productive
but to run around in circles
following the same questions
we have asked for years
My nightmares built a kayak
to cut through the ocean of lies they told to you
and if my arms were strong enough
to bear the weight of burdens that were forced upon you
maybe I wouldn't have collapsed that night
because to be strong for you
is to be everything in this world you need
They were the tools you used
to carve a lie into your soul
and say it back to me
every time I said three words to you
Maybe two can become one
but one will never look in two different directions
when being chased down
by the memories that lurk behind our futures
and lock away our pasts
Because the possibility for you exists
that someday your heart will become
more than an *****
but first we must sever the hope
that bonds our hands as one
First we must adopt identities
from an orphanage
that only houses broken personalities
and destinies
that have been obstructed
by fallen dreams
and shape them to be our own
to prove that hands are miracles
that fold euphoric memories
before placing them in a box
that shall only be opened
on the murkiest days
If these hands can hold masks to protect us
and assemble a better perspective
then we have mastered
the art of definition which creates who we are
But I will stay by your side as long as
there is enough oxygen for us to breathe
while being in such close proximity
because standing beside you
is the one thing you need
turned backs are not.