our first night together
it was chilly for May
you had your first kiss with her
i was alone

our second night together
it was warm for December
my date couldn't make it
you found me crying in the living room
you asked if I was okay, grabbed a cold beer
and left me to be back in her embrace

our third night together
my date was trapped in his own trouble
i smoked for the first time and watched the pictures move
you gave up smoking for her affection

our fourth night together
my date finally made it
and she was on the other end of your long distance phone call
we sang and danced to all of our favorite songs
i slept in the attic storage
you slept on the kitchen floor

our fifth night together
you returned from your journeys
we drank *** and coke in a basement
i tried to impress you with my aspirations
to move to California and be happy
i tried to convince you i am strong and confident
i tried to convince myself you meant nothing to me

our sixth night together
we kissed by the river
and he found us there
you vomited your guilt out
and we agreed she never had to know

our first night apart
i sang my favorite song
but my voice withered at my favorite line

you couldn't bring the columns down because you never knew they were there

my first night i knew i was truly alone
i cried because of the old couple i saw in the park
and deleted my unanswered drunk texts

i am haunted by these minuscule memories that could never add up to the millions you have with her

i am sorry for ever interrupting you that first night