Realizing a pattern, something I create
Feeling safety in my own mind
I make believe a story that I am too scared to live.

It seems my whole life I build this dream
And act as if it is reality. Sometimes,
That's okay.
Sometimes it doesn't really matter.
But once I open my eyes
I see my waves brushing reality away.
And I lose myself.

I find myself living under a pretend state of life.
As I watch the sun
I wish to be watching someone
I wish a being could warm my cold skin
Just as much as the sun.
Yet I've started to find,
I can live without a love like that.
I only crave a bond.
Friendship, compassion.

I need to move beyond the walls of my home
I have always allowed them to confine me.
Always allowing my feet to sink into the hardwood,
For hours on end.

Sometimes its easy,
And that makes it,
Not to bad - to feel this way.