I am dying
As the sun sets and the moonless night prepares to consume the world and it’s atmosphere
So I lay
Unmoving as I prepare for the reaper to visit me
Not only am I broken but, also, my life flees from my side
In a vain attempt to somehow survive
Apart from its withering host
As I shrink into nothingness
My soul panics within the closing box that is my exiting life
It cries out for escape
But hands keep smothering it
Forbidding it from finding some kind of hold
These hands
My hands
As my life approaches its end
I realize that this sickness, this disease that has eaten away at my spirit,
my very life from the beginning
It wash't some unavoidable natural calamity
This disease was injected into my veins, my very life source
Injected
So in my last moments I searched
I clawed
For someone to blame
Someone to hate
My enemy
The Devil
God even
No
None of these were the source of my injection
This slow death
That started killing me from the moment I was given life
Was injected by me
The first time I had a choice
I choose to put this black, murderous think
Into my bloodstream
And I realize now that from the first injection
It was an addiction
And soon this darkness became such a part of me
That nobody could see
That is wasn’t life but depravity
They couldn’t see that I wasn’t actually free
I was drowning
I was dying
But I had worn this life-like facade for so long
That it became plastered to my life like nothing was wrong
An so, even though
I was crying out calling from the inside
All they could see
Was this mask that had made them blind to me and my depravity
And I couldn’t take it off
No matter how hard I tried
I couldn’t find the will
I couldn’t muster the power from inside
So here I lie
And here I close my eyes
Here I die
Crack
I felt a pain sear through my entire being
And it was a pain that went against anything I ever thought about believing
Crack
My body writhed in agony
As it tried to get away from whatever this pain could possibly be
Crack
I felt the mask being torn apart
But my flesh was so attached that a crack in the mask was a crack in my heart
Crack
The mask shattered and I was blinded for a moment
I felt my heart battered but it was battered only for a moment
And then I felt something change
Like while the mask was fading my heart was rearranging
Into something new
And then it started beating again
But it was beating differently then it ever had been
I looked down at my veins
And I saw the black darkness that had been my parasite
It was giving in to this new blood that would bring me true life
But
I had died
I had felt it’s cool icy grasp
How was it that I
Was alive
What was it that broke my mask
A man in white came to me and answered what I had asked
A hammer
Yes, with every stroke that drove in these nails
It broke away your mask until it fell away like scales
And you were blinded for a minute
Because of my light for you were not used to being in it
See you had to die
In order to let me bring you back to life
See now your sin is buried in my grave
And now you truly have been saved