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Oct 2014
You awaken the butterflies in my tummy when you blink.
The hair on my neck and arms stand up when you speak to me.
The pace of my heartbeat seems to increase when you walk toward me.
I know it’s early, and you scare easily but,
There’s a chest full of emotions I never got a chance to get out
& I need to…

My lady,
Let's build a love to last
What some call, everlasting love,
But not 'forever & a day' love
Cause hey-
Who's to say we'll see that last day?
At least my love is here to stay,
So don't run away
& leave me astray.
To fill the ashtray with our memories
Instead remember me,
In your smile.

& If I die before we reach our forever,
I'll ask the gatekeeper to send me back to you.
I'll be the warm breeze that lifts your skirt,
And the soft fabric of your favorite ****.
I'll be the sunshine that soaks into your skin,
The guiding voice that steers you
RIGHT, from within...
I'll be back for you.

I can't get enough of you,
See I over indulge my love for you
with every opportunity,
So I guess you could call me,
A binge lover

The forms of my love will change, often
But the passion & intensity will never soften
Like the pitch of my voice
When I'm shy or outspoken.
Feeling wild, feeling free, feeling unbroken
Inside I’m choking on words unspoken,
Because with you,
There's always something that trips me up.

Like that one time I forgot to tie my shoelaces,
And accidentally fell in love with you.
Remember that?
Probably not cause that's something I never told you.

Honestly,
I just want to hold you
Never scold you
But just show you
What it's like to learn & grow.
Though there are some aspects of love,
In which I don't know.
Like what to do after we've blown smoke at each other.
Cause it's not always going to be pretty,
But- my god... You're ******* pretty.

...I think this is how it started.
How I became one who loves in excess,
And only truly gets to express
What goes on in my chest,
Through words and line breaks.

My binging addiction
Starts with this pen and paper,
Maybe some wine or whiskey
Straight with no chaser
It ends with my heart not on my sleeve
But on this sheet of paper,
In which I’ll speak to those willing to listen.
& I’ll spend my nights
Meeting and greeting new people,
Hoping I’ll run into you.

I didn’t mean to trip on you,
Maybe our lines got tangled.
It would explain all the
Dropped calls, and moments during
Night falls, when I realized you weren’t coming back.

There are nights that I
Sit at the foot of my bed,
Looking at my half full/half empty heart
Made of glass.
As I try to figure out how to fill it.
These voids keep me lonely,
Bad dreams awake me,
Nightmares provoke me,
My inner demons evoke me,
When I find that what I’m smoking
Won’t take the pain away.

So, until that hole is filled,
I’ll keep tripping on heartbreaks,
Learning from mistakes,
Working on line breaks,
And stronger communication
Between my heart and my head.
And I’ll sit on my bed,
Writing poems about someone I once knew,
Who resembles the sun when it falls,
Who once held me dear and warm to her heart
Like day does dawn.

I read somewhere that,
No matter how wide you stretch your fingers,
Your hands will always be too small
To catch all the pain you want to heal.

It doesn’t matter how many nights I sit with my hands
Outstretched holding onto our memories like hourglasses
That are now emptied- because
You left me empty.

You know,
I still have that picture we took in front of the sunset,
After you told me you’d fill an hourglass full of fireflies
When I said I’d fill mine with rays from the sunrise.
I realized, you never meant to stay.
Just wanted to give me enough light to make it through the night,
And like sand & water slip through fingertips on sunny days,
You vanished with the shoreline.
Time wandered away, & the gypsie in your soul had reached it’s time limit.
And by the time the midnight moon
Casted a shadow against the water,
You were gone.
Jesselyn Leach
Written by
Jesselyn Leach  Kalamazoo
(Kalamazoo)   
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