I'm doing it again
I'm letting boys control my mind
my feelings
my everything
why do I do this every time
why do I let myself get affected by them
and why do I base everything I do around boys
why can't I just do something for myself
simply because I want it
why does the end goal always have to be to get the boys attention
I'm so sick of it
I'm not good at mind games
I'm not good at this