I graze now
boarding schools
of the highest
and utmost
quality

I want to run away
I want to start a new life
I want to create a new me,
in a new place,
in a new
world

I have reached the highest
point I can ever reach here

where can I go beyond this?

I’ve exhausted the resources
of my friends;
I’ve climbed the rungs of
power in theatre, poetry,
leadership;
I’ve created a society of
lies to protect myself and
hide myself from the truth
of the world, even as the
truth of my personality
slowly eats away at my
innards until I am hollow
and whistle in the wind

I do not take this act lightly,
I do not take abandoning my
friends,
my many years of work,
my reputation, good and bad.
I do not want to take what
I am away, but,
for my own sake,
I must

I deserve a new start,
a fresh start,
where I can be
whoever I want to be

I was gypped out of this opportunity
by birth, by my stable and even life
lived in only three houses, by my
poor luck to be so lucky, as to have
as good a life as I have been blessed

I do not complain about that
I complain about the jealousy
it boils in me for those people
whose parents are infirm and
irresponsible;
who are dragged from place
to place, never setting down
deep roots, by their owners;
who are given the opportunity
to be constantly dynamic whilst
my only option is to flounder
amongst a static tank

I am pained
by all this

by all this hate,
I have for the things
I love

by all these contradictions,
of the shoulds and
should-nots

by me,
showing, for once,
my human side
I cannot make sense
of the why’s and
the how’s
that my brain has
concluded thus
that I should move,
forget my past,
and start
anew