I thought I knew what i wanted out of life, who i would marry where my life would take me but last night, after seeing you for the first time in so long my heart hurts, my heart keeps racing just thinking about it. the way you kissed me the way you jumped across the car just to kiss me and when you were leaving you came back to my car just to kiss me good bye my stomach is in knots and i feel like puking. I told you i was complicated but instead of saying nothing you simply stated the best things usually are. this love hate relationship isnt as love hate as we thought we want to hate each other but the truth is we can't. We keep meeting like this just to hurt more. Each time one of us gets scared and we disappear. the even more pathetic thing? You're the only one that keeps me writing. We talk so I can be broken again so I can know that all my other relationships are ****. i cant bring myself to truly love someone other than you and i have gotten rather well at thinking i do and frankly it hurts me to see myself do it but i can't not do it. it scares me. we were only supposed to be a middle school thing and now we are both in college. College for me was supposed to be easy to stick with my life plan to stay with this guy i thought i was going to marry but you show up in my dreams out of the blue and i can't keep you out of my head. I wish there was something i could do to know that one day I'll hate you but for as of right now there is no way in hell i can't help but want you.