Bright, angled footsteps crossing
Our lawn at 3 a.m.
A quick, blurred tumble into the front door

It’s loud and you wake us
But no one sush's you anymore
No one comes downstairs
to try and get you to sleep

We can smell the intoxication below us and
We can feel your dizziness while we’re
Warm and safe in our beds
Listening to the tip-tip of the
rain on the roof and the clank-clank
Of newly opened bottles of Miller Light

I lost my faith in my Lord and
My mother the 5th of June when
Her soul vanished in the warm,
Overlapping evenings
She ****** my anticipation dry
With her long gulps

When I asked her to stop she chuckled
and looked me dead in the eye
“But what, will have then?”

I didn’t have an answer to her impossible questions
And Empty requests because I
Dream too
Of better places and better faces but
Mother I love you and

We know she has a problem,
My father says
I didn’t ask for this
He says
I didn’t either
I say

What doesn’t mommy come to my soccer games?
My choir recitals
Or to tuck me in anymore
I ask

Then I remember she has a new best friend
A friend unfailing and persistent
Who boosts her mood and her self exhilaration
Much higher than we ever will

I don’t mind it so much now
Time has its concepts and
Addiction has its play-by-plays

I am a working progress
And so is my mother

She’s starting to cook now,
Investigating recipes like she used to
Investigate mixed drinks

And my fathers happier
Turning up the football games louder
And firing the grill up sooner

I ask her more questions
Making up for all the lost time
We never spent together but

She doesn’t apologize because
What has she done?
Other than skip my
8th grade graduation  
For a rendez-vous
With her needle and

What has she done?
Other than tear down
All the walls I have built of trust and

What will she do when she needs her own comfort?