They say actions speak louder than words
But thoughts speak louder than actions.
Frankly, they are the ones screaming at the top of their lungs
With ghastly shrieks that pierce through the membrane of my mind
Filling it with awful ideas and even worse plans.
Thoughts do not have to be socially acceptable
As actions do.
For example,
I can consider
Sending myself off the George Washington bridge
And wonder if anyone would bother saving me.
I can plan my own funeral in my head
And ponder if anyone would even cry.
However,
I cannot attempt any of those things without intervention.
I cannot say such things without offending or concerning others.
Thoughts like these can also be unconscious
And frequently, they are.
They hurt, bang, and cause clutter in my head
But still, I know I will be okay
Because suicidal thoughts
Do not constitute
Suicidal actions.