I was asked to describe how much I hurt once
I don't really think there was a valid answer for that
Because all I can think about in my moment of pain
Is the pain

I'm not thinking that I've probably felt more pain in my life
I'm not thinking that I'll probably have worse
I'm not even fully comprehending the situation at that moment
Because all I can think about is the pain

The pain controls my existence for as long as it stays
Even if it dulls it will be all I can think about
All that I can't take my mind off of
All that exists to me

I'm not thinking about money
Or homework
Or another person's feelings
As I give into my pain

I let it control me, no matter how bad that idea itself is
I let it take over my actions
And my words
And I'll snap just to apologize later

If I say something I don't mean while in pain
How can I handle falling in love
Just to fall out of it?
I'm too young for this

I'm not ready for the responsibility of having to care for myself
I've been selfish, letting myself go
Thinking that there's always going to be something there to fall back on
There isn't

There actually never was

That's why I am the way I am today