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Jan 2011
No one said that this would be easy
(I don't wanna know)
What will this future bring me?
They all told me it's okay
Still I dream of that day
The world is so cruel to me now
I've lost my energy to mind plow
Does anyone know how I feel?
I hope this reality just ain't real
I'm on my last chance
How much struggle can God enhance?
Hanging on by a thread
If it snaps I'll lose my head
I don't know how I became this way
All I can do is put my head down and just pray
(pray for a better day)

I'm on the back of this bus
People are screaming, what's the fuss?
Entangled in this life
That I've learned how to balance
Who's pulling these strings? that's the malice
I'm not here to play your games
Better be prepared, I'm taking names
Think that its' worse physical?
Don't listen to that kind of bull
Mental goes the worst
It's a deadly ******' curse

I'm lookin' out for myself
Keeping an eye on mental health
I try to save all i can
And try to keep evil away but still stay a man (stay a man)
I don't know which guy I wanna be
Wish someone else would think like me
Everyone hates me, I'm taking the heat
Being bad is such a cold seat
I wanna be good, I wanna be great
Somehow I feel like I'm pushing back that date
I'd like to vanish all my sin
But that's a fight I cannot win
It's here forever
Forever and ever, why never?
Well we're in all of this together

We have fun times
But only sometimes
I had my chance to love at one time
Why can't someone sit here with to me?
My heart is turning cold and I've lost the key
I guess no one likes me anymore
Maybe it's my fault and I've burnt that door
And just, if you would just believe me
Then I-I would just try to stay
Happiness is flying above me
I try reach out and touch
But I'm still leaning on this crutch
I've learned trying doesn't work out how it seems
You need to push it to the limit
And hope to hell that you'll win it
Cause that's something that you earn
It's not a switch that you can turn
Right now things could be real ******
But don't let people look at you in pity
**** will always get kinda ******
Before and after your finally happy
When your world is flipped upside down
Keep yourself from making a frown
That'll keep the clock turning
And through your faults, you'll keep on learning
all rights reserved
Alexander Montgomery Dawson
Written by
Alexander Montgomery Dawson  26/M
(26/M)   
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