When I am with you the world comes to a still.
I look beyond what I know, striving to become knowledgeable, successful; everything becomes splendor in the wake of your words, as if your tongue weaves silver and gold into your speech.
Your voice travels to me, slow, rolling, calming like the waves on the ocean, lying next to the beach that I despise so much; I suddenly feel comforted that I can lie on this sandy shelf.
My heart trills out in joy when I hear the highs and lows in your tones, singing my name out in that second when I answer your call, so stunned by my anxiety that my voice goes quiet.
I push each pencil stroke with a new fire as my thoughts settle on your voice, your smile, the touch of your hands on my sore shoulders.
Because I am who I am, the second before you hang up I struggle to whisper, "I love you" before I hear the finality, the click that ushers in silence again.
Just so you will know, Just in case you forget.
Though I am lonely here, I feel renewed. I breathe in springtime mid-winter, when I would be lying face-down on the floor and stand, feeling the power in my bones rush to the surface.
I struggle to use words that might have meaning to you, that might make what you mean to me mean something to you.
But I find, again and again, that there is but one way to express what should have a million expressions:
When I am with you,
I love you.
And when I am without you,
I love you.
written 01/25/2011