i am tired of feeling like i am not worth anything, tired of wanting a better future, tired of having all these panic attacks, i mean am i really this ******* up? maybe i am. maybe we all are. actually that’s a lie i’m the only ***** up in this world i’m pretty sure that’s quite evident in the way i look, on paper and in reality. i’m such a disappointment, i think everyone hates me and i can’t exactly blame them. my parents probably regret giving birth to me and sometimes i regret being born. i used to be afraid of death but what’s the point of being scared of anything at this point; i’m pretty sure even monsters and demons have standards i can’t measure up to. i can’t measure up to anything really; i’m a horrible person, a waste of space in this drowning planet. i’m not a dying ember or a broken star that had to fall to make someone’s wish come true. i’m not anything really, i’m not important to anyone and the worst part? the worst part is that it’s all my ******* fault, I shouldn't have turned out to be a ***** up, nothing bad really happened to me. i was just a girl, interrupted, a seemingly hopeful burning flame that died out a little everyday and one day the wind blew particularly strong. i can’t blame that on the wind though because i’m pretty sure that i would've turned out to be a lost cause anyway.