forgiveness,
hear my cry,
as I writhe again
in bed
a spurning of
doubt
fresh in my
mind.

forgiveness,
see me now.
as pathetic as
I have ever
been.
I wonder if sins
really are
punished.

forgiveness,
feel my strife,
is your heart like
stone?
and cannot find
mercy for a man
over-punished?

forgiveness,
smell my fear.
a dank musk
of my being,
no number of bathes
may wash
away

forgiveness,
taste the bitterness of
me
and search your soul
to find some sympathy
and respond to me
at last

why do I hear nothing?
I cry
and still the silence
carries on

forgiveness,
has no cry,
it has a heart,
I know and remember this,
but it is not a lax
judge

forgiveness,
hears my cry,
and shows me a
stone-cold face
in the starry
night

I feel a small tingling
as new thoughts flood
my mind
I see again the boy I
once knew: successful,
happy, and forgiving
of himself