today
is not
going to be
a good
day

that little tingle,
that tiny nudge,
that niggling pain
in the back of
my mind

it’s doubt

it’s fear

it’s just
enough
to knock me
over the
edge

I will plummet

down into the pits
of my depressive
self where I will
die and be reborn
and die again

nothing will happen

time will not stop
but my eyes will
only see visions of
hell

today,
may be
****

it may be
terrible,
and horrific
and leave me begging
for death

or maybe
not

maybe,
I’ll rise above

maybe,
I’ll be happy
despite the
doubts

maybe,
maybe
I will.