essentially,
each day I learn
new and interesting
ways that I am
completely worthless
and
unnecessary

whether it be complaints about
my speech,
or my attitude,
or my
personality,
all I keep hearing
every day
and
every
night

despite my small victory,
in getting the part I wanted
in the play,
my life has quickly
and steadily spiraled
downward
each time I check
back in

I want succeed
to stop all this
but I have arrived
at the conclusion
that it’s me
not someone
else

me,
good ole
caleb,
is the
problem

and I know I can’t change
enough to fix all these
problems
so I sit in bed,
starring at the
stars,
wondering how,
I got here,
why I was born
like this,
and who decided
I deserved this
or something along
those lines