Jan 2011
She is standing at the door
of a new home the state provided
From place to place they throw her
wherever budget has decided
Too much, too little, too quiet,
too honest, she talks too loud
Too messy, too mouthy, too unfocused
And her head whithin a cloud
I am sure she looks pretty pitiful
in her hand me down clothes
Trying to look presentable
to every new home she goes
I hope they aren’t mean
and definitely not too nice
I thought my new dad was just friendly
and for that misjudgement I paid a price
Of course no one believes
the mouthy child who always lies
Just making the story sound better
too much pain to disguise
She is just a little girl lost
and her lies scream out for attention
Forget the bruises and lack of food
that she forgot to mention
No one really wants to know
what I saw or what my daddy does
No one wants to hear about mommy's drugs
what she was doing or where I was
Like little slaves to the strangers
with rules sitting high and looking low
It’s not like we can go complain
there’s nowhere else for us to go
New schools and no friends
walk the halls, eyes to the floor
In a few weeks it starts again
friends don’t matter anymore
They point and whisper with cruel intent
because someone heard your tale
Of the kid that no one wanted,
which is pitifully dressed and frail
Children can be so cruelly misinformed
at times such as this
But I am just a nameless face
that no one will even miss
I stopped unpacking my suit case
so many months ago
No matter how the time goes by
my belongings never grow
A few outfits, a few pictures
and a book to write a thought
A few mementos from home
and a unicorn that my mom bought
Anything more is just a waste of time
and not worth all the fight
Of remembering what you leave behind
when they take you in the night
No one wants to face the tears
of the child you’re throwing away
Maybe it was harder to look
at their mirrors in the light of day
70 homes in 5 long years some with love
and some without a word
Some were nice and some paid a price
for the little girl left unheard
I spent my life with the sorrowed looks
of those who knew my world
And many times I heard the phrase
such a lost and lonely little girl
My mother filled her world with drugs and men
I paid the highest cost
In the end I gained my heart and soul
then found everything she lost
I grew up, took my head from the clouds
and put my feet on the ground
Went searching for the little girl I lost
and love the woman that I found
of a new home the state provided
From place to place they throw her
wherever budget has decided
Too much, too little, too quiet,
too honest, she talks too loud
Too messy, too mouthy, too unfocused
And her head whithin a cloud
I am sure she looks pretty pitiful
in her hand me down clothes
Trying to look presentable
to every new home she goes
I hope they aren’t mean
and definitely not too nice
I thought my new dad was just friendly
and for that misjudgement I paid a price
Of course no one believes
the mouthy child who always lies
Just making the story sound better
too much pain to disguise
She is just a little girl lost
and her lies scream out for attention
Forget the bruises and lack of food
that she forgot to mention
No one really wants to know
what I saw or what my daddy does
No one wants to hear about mommy's drugs
what she was doing or where I was
Like little slaves to the strangers
with rules sitting high and looking low
It’s not like we can go complain
there’s nowhere else for us to go
New schools and no friends
walk the halls, eyes to the floor
In a few weeks it starts again
friends don’t matter anymore
They point and whisper with cruel intent
because someone heard your tale
Of the kid that no one wanted,
which is pitifully dressed and frail
Children can be so cruelly misinformed
at times such as this
But I am just a nameless face
that no one will even miss
I stopped unpacking my suit case
so many months ago
No matter how the time goes by
my belongings never grow
A few outfits, a few pictures
and a book to write a thought
A few mementos from home
and a unicorn that my mom bought
Anything more is just a waste of time
and not worth all the fight
Of remembering what you leave behind
when they take you in the night
No one wants to face the tears
of the child you’re throwing away
Maybe it was harder to look
at their mirrors in the light of day
70 homes in 5 long years some with love
and some without a word
Some were nice and some paid a price
for the little girl left unheard
I spent my life with the sorrowed looks
of those who knew my world
And many times I heard the phrase
such a lost and lonely little girl
My mother filled her world with drugs and men
I paid the highest cost
In the end I gained my heart and soul
then found everything she lost
I grew up, took my head from the clouds
and put my feet on the ground
Went searching for the little girl I lost
and love the woman that I found
Sometimes I write about the pain in my life and sometimes I feel like writing about all of the good that came from those hard life lessons. I can love my daughter more, appreciate life more, show more compassion, heighten my awareness to those in need, be more understanding, take more chances and I can say that I took the hand I was dealt and won on a bluff. I feel blessed to have lived with all of those different people. I took the good and the bad and learned that I can make it through anything. I may not know what to do all the time as a parent....but I **** sure will know what NOT to do.
