Welcome to my mind
You're getting a sneak peak
A preview, if you will
Of the twisted metal statue
That is my mind
I'm warning you now
I keep music on
To drown my own my thoughts
I try to avoid my own mind
so you probably should too...

I can feel my sanity draining
Leaking from my ears
So I keep headphones in
To try to stop the flow
But it still drains out slowly
With thoughts like
i know he's just using me
But I'll deal with it, because,
Clearly I'm a ******* idiot

Maybe I do love him, who knows?
The *** is amazing though
He doesn't know that,
Even before he tried to say
no strings attached
I was already tangled up
As I have been

How little he knows about his pretty little toy
Not that he needs to know much
It's insanely easy for him to get to me
he doesn't even know you write...
And still manages to know my weakness

I'll do almost anything to get out of my house
Which is how I ended up staying at his anyway
The things I ended up doing
In an attempt to get away from mother
Still swirl around in my mind
Some of them making me blush
Others, making me want more
Even though I said
this will be the last time
I highly doubt it will
But it will be for awhile at least...
Because of that new girl
I'll be waiting for her to pass
His latest conquest
can never be as good as you are

I don't know how to handle love
Or hatred, grief, depression
But ***? I have mastered that
I mastered that long ago
At a way to early age
he doesn't know about that either...
Doesn't know it wasn't willing
Doesn't know the subject of the nightmare
That woke us both up at 3 in the morning
And initiated another round  
Doesn't know the reason I didn't take my turn
In the handcuffs, I just said
it causes panic attacks..
But didn't elaborate past that
Didn't show him the scars
Still on my wrist
From my mothers boyfriends handcuffs
Didn't tell him they've been there
For nearly 7 years
*has it really been that long...?