Oct 2014
I like my men like I like my coffee
Strong and dark
Hot and silent
Now go away I
Like my coffee like I like my ***
Strong and dark
Hot and silent
Now go away I
Like my men like I like my ***
Strong and dark
Hot and silent
Now please stay I
Am just a shell made of superflus things
I am a bean of coffee that hasn't been discovered
I have a different flavor I
Am not like every bean I
Am whole and raw
New and scared I
Am a woman that hasn't had a chance to bloom yet I
Have not passed the stages of life like the others I
Have not been taken on a date
Or gotten a real first kiss I
Have been used for *** by people who did not care I
Thought no one would ever want me I
Let myself be used because I was too scared
To wake up and realize I would wait my whole life I
Am insecurity itself
Hiding behind the awful shield of over confidence and disdain
I am a ****** in love I
Have no idea how good love could feel as I have never felt it I
Ran away and I am terrified to fall in love I
Have been used as a ****** object I
Let myself believe this was all I was good for and I
Don't know pleasure or trust or kindness or love or care or passion I know
Hard and strong
Hot and silent
Sad and terrifying
Guilt and shame
Fear and loneliness I
Am a master at hiding away
My emotions I
Don't know how to feel good I
Have not been taken on a date I
Have never gotten a real first kiss I
Don't know how to make love in a world where everyone has experienced it I
Am a abomination I
Don't know how to let people in because of their expectations I
Am expected to put out and enjoy it I
Am expected to be okay with hands touching my body I
Am expected to know what to do I
Am expected to know how to give and receive I
Am a child I
Am a shaking thirteen year old I
Don't know what butterflies in my stomach are and I
Need someone who understands I
Can't be treated like every other girl I
Am a shaking fourteen year old I
Don't know what lips against mine feel like I
Have the emotional drive of a toddler I
Need to be explained everything and I
Need to be shown how to walk I
Can't be expected to be a twenty year old I
Have the ****** drive of a plant I
Don't know how good it could be or
How anything works I
Need to be watered everyday before I can bloom I
Need the pressure to be a ****** object to stop I
Don't know how to cope with any of the hormones rushing my brain I
Want things like holding hands to be a huge step I
Want things like the brush of his lips on my forehead to mean the world I
Can't skip any steps I
Am a toddler and I
Can't be expected to run before I can walk I
Have done horrible things to myself and now I
Want to start over but
How would this ever work in a world so focused on ***.
I want my man like I like my blanket
Warm and secure
Hugging me all night to keep the nightmares away
Soaking in my fears and protecting me from the monsters under my bed I
Am only a child.
Strong and dark
Hot and silent
Now go away I
Like my coffee like I like my ***
Strong and dark
Hot and silent
Now go away I
Like my men like I like my ***
Strong and dark
Hot and silent
Now please stay I
Am just a shell made of superflus things
I am a bean of coffee that hasn't been discovered
I have a different flavor I
Am not like every bean I
Am whole and raw
New and scared I
Am a woman that hasn't had a chance to bloom yet I
Have not passed the stages of life like the others I
Have not been taken on a date
Or gotten a real first kiss I
Have been used for *** by people who did not care I
Thought no one would ever want me I
Let myself be used because I was too scared
To wake up and realize I would wait my whole life I
Am insecurity itself
Hiding behind the awful shield of over confidence and disdain
I am a ****** in love I
Have no idea how good love could feel as I have never felt it I
Ran away and I am terrified to fall in love I
Have been used as a ****** object I
Let myself believe this was all I was good for and I
Don't know pleasure or trust or kindness or love or care or passion I know
Hard and strong
Hot and silent
Sad and terrifying
Guilt and shame
Fear and loneliness I
Am a master at hiding away
My emotions I
Don't know how to feel good I
Have not been taken on a date I
Have never gotten a real first kiss I
Don't know how to make love in a world where everyone has experienced it I
Am a abomination I
Don't know how to let people in because of their expectations I
Am expected to put out and enjoy it I
Am expected to be okay with hands touching my body I
Am expected to know what to do I
Am expected to know how to give and receive I
Am a child I
Am a shaking thirteen year old I
Don't know what butterflies in my stomach are and I
Need someone who understands I
Can't be treated like every other girl I
Am a shaking fourteen year old I
Don't know what lips against mine feel like I
Have the emotional drive of a toddler I
Need to be explained everything and I
Need to be shown how to walk I
Can't be expected to be a twenty year old I
Have the ****** drive of a plant I
Don't know how good it could be or
How anything works I
Need to be watered everyday before I can bloom I
Need the pressure to be a ****** object to stop I
Don't know how to cope with any of the hormones rushing my brain I
Want things like holding hands to be a huge step I
Want things like the brush of his lips on my forehead to mean the world I
Can't skip any steps I
Am a toddler and I
Can't be expected to run before I can walk I
Have done horrible things to myself and now I
Want to start over but
How would this ever work in a world so focused on ***.
I want my man like I like my blanket
Warm and secure
Hugging me all night to keep the nightmares away
Soaking in my fears and protecting me from the monsters under my bed I
Am only a child.
