icouldneverquite get you down on paper. iknewyour favorite band and favoritemovie and what you sounded like when you slept but ididnotknow how to put the thumping of yourheart againstthe rain or the gravel of your voice echoing in that soft spot right below my ear into words. there were gold ribbons streaming from your hands always always (weren't there) at least i think there were. i only painted your outline once in orange on a piece of cardboard but it didn't fill my apartment the way your laugh did so i covered it with yellow rosebuds and threw it in the dumpster on my way to work.