cold
hard
emotionless
drunken eyes
angrily follow
childlike bliss
waiting for the slightest infraction
coiled tiger eyeballing weaker prey
in an instant rage sweeps into the world
as innocence is replaced with howls of confusion
and suffering
dust smeared with tears
as fear envelopes rationality
and a dullness begins –
rounded edges
cushioned
fashioning a safety zone
for a stumbling protégé  
future man of the house
dependable rock on which the nuclear family is built
guilt wilts dreams
and the silt of mud caked pant legs
lays scattered across un-mopped floors –
angst
and crank calls
spotty face and misplaced hate
small kitten feels the brunt
nearly drowned
tail-flung around
rocks pound
no more sound…externally
reverse side is more complex
multitudes of individual voices
create the atmosphere of a theatre, pre-show
yet he stands alone
contemplating the conversations
and the remnants of a gifted kitten –
slowly watching the hands
dead fathers watch
fixated on the doors
breath bated
cold steel against his leg
flashes of pain and self-loathing
as the first children run out into the sun
all the spender of a recess on Friday
is replaced with horror
as lead shreds polyester blends
and the screams of the living
drown the ruckus in his head
is this what peace feels like –