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Jan 2011
Me:

Cruising down the left lane
Grey skies, and makeup smudged from the night before
A night of confusion, lost with no direction
Until now, on the highway
I know exactly where I am going

Street signs are dusted with flakes of snow
I envision the night before
Arms around my waist
Is that where they are supposed to be?
A kind of unwanted taste; is this the right spice?

Trapped in my mind I don't notice the lights
Flash, double flash, and then flashing blue
A state trooper, official and firm
Belching his words which then suicide on the pavement
Screaming like an inner child, yelling like a large man

My brain gets trapped mid-belch
Like his words have pinned me down; they are boulders
And my mind rushes back to years ago
My stepfather marching, screaming, pulling
And my head hits the cabinet

I'm awake, a ticket in hand drenched with tears
Before I can say a word, I look in my mirrors and he is gone
Click, shift, back in drive; back in my mind
As I venture home, sobbing, cursing
Screaming to the music as loud as a want; nobody can hear a thing.

Him:

And to this day I can only see her face in my mirror
I could not stand to see her suffer
It was a bug, she said; an insect in her mind
fighting with the neurons and itching for control
And I will never forget the day the insect won.

I could have been there, I could have stopped it.
All of those close calls, all of those sleepless nights
All of those trips to therapists
And I should have seen it coming.
I never knew she would really jump.

Drivers today, they are imbeciles
Left lane dwellers, I've had enough
**** the people, the emotions, the petty thoughts
**** the ignorant college students, the young ones
So I pulled her over.

The same hair, eyes green like my daughters.
She hated me, she despised me, I had done it again.
My words were like *****, up and out
Hasty and volatile; but I emotionless
And I'm off again down the dusty road.
Written by
Kara MacLean
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