The distorted thing about being in love is you're always questioning if the hands you hold are honest or if their intentions go deeper than just modesty, if everything you've worked so hard for is just to occupy a space in their sheets. You bought me ice cream once, I didn't even have to ask you to, you just put it in my mailbox and told me to walk out and look inside. It had a little yellow post-it note on it. That was when I realized no one had ever done that for me before, no one had ever went out of their way to show their appreciation for me. But that was the last time something like that happened because the moment I became yours, you stopped trying. The sad thing is I stay with you because I believe all I deserve are nice words with no action to back them up. When in reality, I deserve someone who would move mountains for me, travel a million miles just to see me smile because I would do that much for someone. I'm sorry I feel so worthless but nothing makes me feel otherwise. I don't ask for too much but you are too selfish with your ways.  This relationship is a two way street, but yours in under-construction and blocked off to any hope of getting to you. I wish I could make you understand the way the things you do ******* my mentality and make me wish to god I didn't have such a big heart. Maybe I shouldn't have given you so much of myself just so you can throw it all away and pick it all up again whenever you do so choose. I guess this is what I deserve and maybe you were brought into my life to make me realize I will never be that person everyone else thinks I am. I will never deserve more than what I receive from you.