in the last 6 years I have learned the hardest part of all this has been forgiving myself and desperately hoping that in the big picture, some how all of this will make sense or at the least, through the passing of time, the pain will have lessened and acceptance and healing will occur making the idea that maybe, just maybe, all that talk i'd been taught, considered, relied on, believed in, questioned, doubted but eventually rejected, about life after death and of souls that go to Heaven might actually, possibly be true and that he is ok. Probably more okay than the ones he left behind. God, and I pray there is One, I hope Colton is ok. If there is no hope of ever seeing him again, his death will never make sense to me and life here on Earth is simply pointless and insignificantly meaningless. However, I've chosen to believe otherwise, and If I am to gain some lessons and use my life for a greater purpose rather than to continue living as that all too comfortably familiar self centered, ungrateful, entitled person that I was before that Friday morning, 6 years ago today, and am still but hopefully not as much, his life and his death weren't in vain.