it has been a
long, long day
on this man’s
conscious

whether it be the guilt
of procrastination
or the pain
of seeing others
do what I really
want

all those visions
and noises
of a reality, I can
only dream
of

are painful
in a way only
dead men may
know

I am
haunted
by this
day.

(every day
it now seems)

I am haunted
and I am afraid
of asking:

is this it?
is this the rest of my life?