you always had a big heart
and weak, tiny guts.
someone could rip out your hair--
"stop it!"
pull away
they won't stop

your big heart made you stay,
your tiny gut conjuring no more than guilt
and dull eyes when he says he loves you

five foot two,
small enough to feel powerless
big enough to feel like you could do more,
more than lie there on your back.
but you've got tiny, tiny guts
and your heart had wilted

you left but he's not gone.
he's lingering where your body sees no sun
and in your throat when you feel you're choking.
he touched everything.
he touched every part of your life

      why are you so afraid
      when you've got such a big, strong heart?

      why are you so cold with that blanket wrapped around you?
      why can't you sleep when you're exhausted?
      why can't you eat when you're hungry?
      why can't you cry when you're sad?

now it's a new day in a new city
in a new home with a new love.
      why can't you go outside?
      why can't she touch you?
      why do you have nightmares
      when you've smiled all day?

you're a work in progress!
let her hold you,
and let your big heart pump blood
to your tiny, tiny guts