And I was like well I don't have one
No I don't mean I'm getting one
I honestly never really tried to get one so I just don't

And something was wrong with me
an undefined thing was sticking out of me
illustrated in a wide swathe, that I was oddly made
slightly off, smelled funny, looked strange too
this thing that was wrong with me
reeking and streaking across the room

politely they nodded
as the prognosis was not good
i would probably die this way
unattached, untethered, unknown
for you are nobody till somebody owns you

i lilted away from the gathering
feeling their pain that would become mine
that ache of alone and stench of undone
tickling my toes, stinging my nose
*** without pain, no loss, no regret
always there, everyday, all the way
in and out, and of course, up and down
through something thick and never thin

preferable to be missed than the other Miss
I was off alone to believe

I watched their careful nails and the tuck
of hair behind the ear rings he'd bought
and the stroke of the arm along a lonesome thigh

and I knew it could happen
to anyone and anywhere

is it worse to have none
or to have and not be had
at all