I am paralyzed.
I do not know how to be around others anymore.
I stall, freeze, stop, escape.
I cannot be with others.
I am lonely and seek such loneliness because in people's presence I feel suffocated.
I feel judged.
Insecure.
I defend myself only because I seek approval.
I defend myself and lose everytime.
I am barely human anymore.
Music fills my pores with longing and people's voices fill me with emptiness.
I do not belong.
I am not enough I am different.
I seek support but cannot find any walls.
I am down I stand tall.
I am fighting a battle I cannot win.
I am once again alone and facing an army of disapproval.
I am once again no longer enough.
Being myself no longer suffices.
I have to be someone else or battle against them.
I am Troy.
I am surrounded.
My fall in imminent.
I cannot escape.
No one is on my side. I am on no one's side.
I face the battle alone.
I have nothing. No swords no army no power.
I have my own lonely, broken, crumbling mind.
I am burdened with the pressure to be normal. I do not seek normalcy, yet I have no other choice.
**I am losing my mind.