Smoking a cigarette out my window, checking my instagram.  Everything is so boring, but your face in my feed still haunts me.  I swear to god I'm Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  Your name rings bells in my head that signal there was something more. I'm receding in my feelings for you, and it's a saving grace cause I'm tired of searching for something that's not there.

I'm losing myself in other's smiles and laughs and they way they tell me their favorite things, and I'm thinking I'm finally enjoying life. But I'm reflecting on the warmth of your body compared to his as he snores into my back and how I've never heard anything so annoying because your breaths were whispers. I'm comparing his arms as they rest across my body and how they're shorter. His fingers are not the right length to envelop my hands.

I'm so very sick of you eating away at my brain, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel you forced me into because for a moment, you were the most beautiful and perfect human being I could have ever spent time with.