I have let myself down
after I have led myself
around by the neck
through this town
the seeds I have planted
grew into oak trees
and their shade combined
creates a greenhouse house effect over me
there is moisture everywhere
be it in the air or beading down my cheek
staring out of a window
my reflection is someone I wish not to be
I embrace my loneliness as it if solving something
I tell these little lies to myself then I justify them
by the effortless excuse of being born human
accepting my mistakes without the ambition
needed for the act of redemption
I lay stagnant, a standing shaded puddle
with my thoughts drowned out by the screeching sound of
mosquitoes hatching and the erratic ******* of my blood

the soil is soft and fertile
I have this pocket fulls of seeds
but I am scared to death of dropping them