My heart is dripping with so much blood it’s almost gone. Am I dreaming? I don't know why its framed like this. Why did you make decisions to keep us separated? Thanks to you I am so much more than you will ever be able to teach me. Would it be worth trying to cover up for your mistakes and make my life full of depression. Again I think is this pain or joy? But you wouldn’t understand if a child was hurt emotionally, abandoned, adopted, scourged, inspired, looked up to, and being the first priority. But a child who knows how to put their past behind them and tell themselves they still have a future to live a life that has always been accepted for them.  Mom, I just want to tell you whether you decide to accept me or decline me in your life, that I will always have people who will always support me, or whether you're standing there to comfort me while my head on your breast or sell me to a family who has never held a black child in their arms, but who is willing to take me and teach me and make me the first priority. You return to take me back in your arms to try to replace those variables in the equations, but to equal all that out I knew there was something missing, there was never an acknowledgement or apology. I try to ask what you thought were overwhelming questions but, all you had was excuses and lies which I didn’t have time for. You never really listened to what I needed to say to you in that short period of time that I laid my last eye on you but, I still had a dream and my whole future planned out for me. I know to myself that It's never too late to forgive you.  It's a little too late to start over but, It's never too late to find my dreams and it's certainly never too late to live them out. I can’t tell you how many times I was disappointed and angry because of your absence but, that wasn’t going to affect me any more. When you made your decisions I was making my decisions for myself. Isn’t that what you did? I will love you regardless even though that will be hard to say to you. Mom, I have grown up to become my own self and making decisions for myself even though you weren’t there to help me with those decisions, my life is still headed the right direction. You may say to yourself that I love you. But do you really know what love means? Love isn’t just spelling out L-O-V-E, but its actually committing your time and doing everything to keep your word.