Jan 2011
Most girls change their hair when they fall out of love
But I change my hair when I fall out of love with myself
Because maybe, I think, if I change the face in the mirror to a stranger I can live like a stranger would and say what a stranger says that you wish you could say but can’t because you aren’t that person, you are you. But now I’m not me so I can. Do you understand?
Maybe the blue hair will propel my legs up an aisle to give my words to an audience that look like demons in the dim light and maybe it will draw attention away from my blushing face and shaking hands and stuttering soul-bearing words.
Maybe it will inspire me to live every day as my last day and if I was struck down right now by a highly improbable lightening bolt I would fry knowing that I die with no regrets because when you are doing something out of your comfort zone/fortress you are too filled with fear/life to worry about regrets.
I dyed my hair blue to find myself
Because its easy to get lost in the sea of black and white and yellow and red but really all different shades of complementary neutrals aka brown and fade into that neutral tapestry like the member of the mass you are.
Because its easy to get lost in the sea of desk job and changing plans and the practical and the comfortable and the cubicle that is just the right height to see the windows of your boss’ office but he’s drawn the blinds because he too has given up but he says its because it causes glare on his laptop screen and he’s doing some very important work while dreaming of when he was young and as full of ambitions as there are stars in the sky. He didn’t shoot for the moon so he landed with his feet firmly planted on a giant rock rotating around a fireball.
I’m blue cuz if I was green I would die.
Die with the jealousy of those who are born with no fear or hide it well and chase dreams like cheetahs chase a wounded gazelle and then devour it as if they were starving for life.
The day I dyed my hair blue, everyone I knew enough to greet me came up and said “wow it’s blue” as if they couldn’t trust their eyes and touched it as if they couldn’t trust their hands. I vowed never to be these people that couldn’t believe in something as simple as a hair color because what I really want deep inside my sheltered soul is something so unbelievable a child wouldn’t take me seriously.
One day I was in CVS and saw a bottle of blue hair dye and knew that I could make my dreams come true but only if I tried.
But I change my hair when I fall out of love with myself
Because maybe, I think, if I change the face in the mirror to a stranger I can live like a stranger would and say what a stranger says that you wish you could say but can’t because you aren’t that person, you are you. But now I’m not me so I can. Do you understand?
Maybe the blue hair will propel my legs up an aisle to give my words to an audience that look like demons in the dim light and maybe it will draw attention away from my blushing face and shaking hands and stuttering soul-bearing words.
Maybe it will inspire me to live every day as my last day and if I was struck down right now by a highly improbable lightening bolt I would fry knowing that I die with no regrets because when you are doing something out of your comfort zone/fortress you are too filled with fear/life to worry about regrets.
I dyed my hair blue to find myself
Because its easy to get lost in the sea of black and white and yellow and red but really all different shades of complementary neutrals aka brown and fade into that neutral tapestry like the member of the mass you are.
Because its easy to get lost in the sea of desk job and changing plans and the practical and the comfortable and the cubicle that is just the right height to see the windows of your boss’ office but he’s drawn the blinds because he too has given up but he says its because it causes glare on his laptop screen and he’s doing some very important work while dreaming of when he was young and as full of ambitions as there are stars in the sky. He didn’t shoot for the moon so he landed with his feet firmly planted on a giant rock rotating around a fireball.
I’m blue cuz if I was green I would die.
Die with the jealousy of those who are born with no fear or hide it well and chase dreams like cheetahs chase a wounded gazelle and then devour it as if they were starving for life.
The day I dyed my hair blue, everyone I knew enough to greet me came up and said “wow it’s blue” as if they couldn’t trust their eyes and touched it as if they couldn’t trust their hands. I vowed never to be these people that couldn’t believe in something as simple as a hair color because what I really want deep inside my sheltered soul is something so unbelievable a child wouldn’t take me seriously.
One day I was in CVS and saw a bottle of blue hair dye and knew that I could make my dreams come true but only if I tried.
Slam poem inspired by the slow decay of ambition. I know it's wordy but it's worthy... of a read.
