You wake up in the middle of the night
and you hear an unfamiliar sound—
a gasp, it sounds like,
or a choking, a struggle.
You are disturbed, yet unafraid,
you are curious, but too lazy to leave your bed.
Three deep breaths, and the sound stops,
and you realize that you were just
choking on your own words,
your own thoughts trapped between your
throat and your lips, the thoughts you
always want to scream but only whisper
quietly to yourself, the thoughts that are
thunderstorms inside your head,
clouding your vision and pushing you
down to the floor, the thoughts that
time after time break down the dams
behind your eyelids
but only in controlled isolation.
You hear yourself gasping for breath,
your breathing remnants of thoughts,
your thoughts tough hands
around your own neck,
squeezing firmly until you fall
back to sleep.