Sep 2014
There was a time where everything ran smoothly,
had no worries, no stress.
There was a time where happiness was my trademark,
never settled for less.
Now those days are gone, like generational changes they all in the past;
And the only form of memories of them are just flashbacks and blurred images.
Everything is suddenly complicated like puberty stages.
Premature changes;
now my life seems to be an endless horror movie and I cant face it.
The split second pains are unbearable, not even Goliath stand to embrace it.
Cast down to what seems to be a battlefield; I'm at war with my own life, and chances of victory are weak, a thousand to none.
What I am facing is the exact opposite of what I stand for,
like the devil compares to a nun.
I am surrounded by gothic colours like I am colour blind.
which leaves me to wonder if a brighter tomorrow will ever come...
So many questions with no answers,
so many problems but no solutions.
How on earth will I rise above this world of confusion?
How can I claim to love when I have forgotten how it feels to be loved?
How can I be happy when I'm feeling so much pain and that so called happiness seems to be just a meaningless status.
How can I choose to live when death seems like the best option.
How will I rise from all these mixed emotions?
How will I rise above my problems when they have become a huge part of my daily devotions?
How do I continue living when the life I'm living is not worth living?
No one knows how I feel...
No one sees these inner scars and wounds that are too deep to heal.
No one sees my endless stream of tears when I cry.
and believe me, I try...
I try soo hard to scream and shout for help,
but no one seems to notice or attempt to care.
my feeble knees won't carry me,
so how will I rise when no one there or willing to give me a hand.
Yet they are too quick to judge, but look pat my struggle to stand.
It is said that when days are dark, friends are few..
Well lately the same applies for family too.
So where do I go?
What do I do?
I am alone in this wretched world with nowhere ore no on to turn to.
Nowhere to run.
So how?
HOW DO I RISE???
had no worries, no stress.
There was a time where happiness was my trademark,
never settled for less.
Now those days are gone, like generational changes they all in the past;
And the only form of memories of them are just flashbacks and blurred images.
Everything is suddenly complicated like puberty stages.
Premature changes;
now my life seems to be an endless horror movie and I cant face it.
The split second pains are unbearable, not even Goliath stand to embrace it.
Cast down to what seems to be a battlefield; I'm at war with my own life, and chances of victory are weak, a thousand to none.
What I am facing is the exact opposite of what I stand for,
like the devil compares to a nun.
I am surrounded by gothic colours like I am colour blind.
which leaves me to wonder if a brighter tomorrow will ever come...
So many questions with no answers,
so many problems but no solutions.
How on earth will I rise above this world of confusion?
How can I claim to love when I have forgotten how it feels to be loved?
How can I be happy when I'm feeling so much pain and that so called happiness seems to be just a meaningless status.
How can I choose to live when death seems like the best option.
How will I rise from all these mixed emotions?
How will I rise above my problems when they have become a huge part of my daily devotions?
How do I continue living when the life I'm living is not worth living?
No one knows how I feel...
No one sees these inner scars and wounds that are too deep to heal.
No one sees my endless stream of tears when I cry.
and believe me, I try...
I try soo hard to scream and shout for help,
but no one seems to notice or attempt to care.
my feeble knees won't carry me,
so how will I rise when no one there or willing to give me a hand.
Yet they are too quick to judge, but look pat my struggle to stand.
It is said that when days are dark, friends are few..
Well lately the same applies for family too.
So where do I go?
What do I do?
I am alone in this wretched world with nowhere ore no on to turn to.
Nowhere to run.
So how?
HOW DO I RISE???
