the worst finally happened
and now, the dreams-
I can't stand them.
no motivation, no ambition
why should I, when you
didn't.

sleeping is unthinkable,
(hours with my guard down)
I am ravaged, and by morning
it's as if I never closed my eyes
the exhaustion just multiplies.

what's the worst that could happen?
I lose my head? my mind? my goals?
peace is achieved slowly, and they keep saying
"Just don't bottle it up."
well I keep releasing, and the tension
just
BUILDS
when do I break?

all the crying, the writing,
the screaming, the fighting,
it's the tip of the ice berg.
and everyone wants to TALK.

what use is talking, when the feelings
have no name? when the feelings are simply
too big, and too much, they've all run together.
I don't know which came first:
the anger or the pain?
the disappointment or the shame?

I am left with all of these questions.
and you have left me no answers.
no last words, no last gift,
no goodbye,
nothing.

Nothing builds up.