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Sep 2014
The difference between trusting you and letting go... quite like the difference between walking into an unknown dark house, and trying to find the kitchen or waking up at home to a Sunday morning breakfast. It's more than subtle, but less than drastic. I suppose if I could find a light switch along these black walls it would change our chances of survival but I never try hard at any kind of love because what's the guarantee of satisfaction? A little bit of wine to tide your feelings is how you medicate when you think I'm leaving for good, but something always brings me back and I find you drunk and dizzy laying face down on a mahogany wood floor in a house that's still dark except for the dim light of realization that's clicked on in my brain for the thousandth time. "I should go now" the voice in my head always calls out and ******* the day I listen to it because that may be the day I'm actually sane. But what's the joy of being sane if you're never happy? The difference between loving you and letting go is as big a difference as there is between the chances of me leaving you, 100-1, so I guess your odds are good. You could worry less about me leaving and more about how you're going to make me stay but honestly as long as you keep taking me to bed the way you do I don't see myself escaping this heaven anytime soon. Its a devil's curse the way my heart thumps rapidly from anticipation and fear whenever you're near me. So stop asking for differences and start looking for what's the same. Love will not be and has never been a game for me and I do not like playing around with such matters. So just love me now, please.
asg
Written by
asg  24/F/chicago.
(24/F/chicago.)   
643
 
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