It's been so many years since I have seen your smile, heard your laugh, been enveloped with your hugs and melted with your kiss. I  am sorry. I know sorry will not bring you back. I wish you would have stuck it out here. Things would have gotten better. I could have promised you that. I want to thank you because with you leaving it has stopped me from wanting to. The pain you caused so many. The desperation  I feel and lord knows your mother.

Dear Shane,
You were my best friend.
Death my love doesn't mean it comes to an end.
Death was a reminder.
I just have to try harder.
Oh The things you're missing here.
When I look at my children I get an overwhelming hurt.
You will never experience this kind of love.
From you leaving me I have grown stronger and have learned to rise above.
No matter if only one of us is living we are still best friends.
I just wish we could have made amends.