"It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to" seems like a good enough excuse to me. My heart is bleeding and my pulse is throbbing, so I scream them away with my misery.
Unintentional emotion and fears so set, that I'd rather be alone than rejected. A heart made of gold, encased in glass, surely to be shattered.
There's no where to turn, no place to hide...sooner or later you'll be unearthed. Across the hall or the campus, you're never alone and that's both a blessing and a curse.
What a smile hides is tired eyes, and even more serious, emotional lies. But at the end of the week, there's no one to see. Besides, who's really going to miss me?
Packed away for a few days, but praying for weeks are my feeble attempts at some lasting peace. But often I've found, with anxiety abound, there's only so much time before the next roaring beast.
Around the corner or under my bed, my dad used to check to assure my small head. With heart and body still in check then, it's hard to explain where it began. A story to unfold to a sincere heart and listener, not just a fake societal prisoner.
But then again, there's therapy too: paying for advice from someone who "understands you" and where you are going and where you'll end up. But the truth that's really it? We're all eternally ******.