I wake to the sound of helicopters again. Ive been sleeping more than usual; trapped in this in between state, not quite awake, yet not quite asleep. I stumble through my days in a haze of hash and dreams. Today i dream that im a man made of television signals sitting on the moon watching the earth and sun die. Tomorrow i dream my skin is blue and made of tiny pieces of faberge, constantly in a state of flux. Being shifts and moves with every emotion, displaying its anguish through skin like a shriveled leaf in the relentless dry light. Or its pulsating with life in its heart. Grinding and passing with an excitedness only matched by two lovers in the embrace of a blind passion. They are alive- the faberge that is. I do my best not to own my cube parts as they do not belong to me.I struggle to find an I. Awake i am numb. Feeling has lost all duality and there is left only "a" Feeling.

I wake up.

Stumbling, drunk on delta waves, animal kicks in. Life easy. **** first. In process of *******. White dog in bathroom with me. It run to window. It escape.

Lucidity returns........ and i am still in bed. Three figures are standing over me. I'm paralyzed and the only breath on the air is a fear that is unusually thick and warm. The mind is wrought with an animal anxiety yet a conscious mind remains- confused. Afraid; it rejects and i....

I wake up in a thick sweat. My breath is heavy and a dull paranoia remains from a night of heavy dreaming. As if moving through soup i push myself out of bed and make my way to the kitchen for a glass of water. Im shivering and fear is licking my skin, yet i don't remember ever having any reason to be afraid. I bite my lip and the familiarity of pain reminds me that im in THE absolute. The bleakness of reality begins as my brain starts its daily chatter, soft, like birds in the early hours of morning.
Her majesty Sky holds a blanket of pink and oranges over her chin, nuzzling the ***** of the cosmos, begging for one more kiss from that fantastical night.