Do you love me?
You roll to a stop at the red light
Cars speed forward in front of us
All containing people with their own questions that could crumble their worlds
They are all unaware that I just asked  the question that could crumble mine

Do you love me?
The red light reflects off of your face
It casts deep shadows under your eyes and jawbone
Like the deep maroon is outlining where I had trailed my lips just hours before
A dark road map showing the weakness I have for the softest parts of you

You blink once
Twice
Three times
Your lips part to say something but they stop and instead let out a deep breath
I see your thumb touch your ******* on the steering wheel and glide in a circular motion almost as to soothe yourself

Do you love me?
The light turns green
And this time you speed forward before I can see the shadows on your face
Instead you're thrown into darkness as we drive the busy night streets
Each passing streetlight illuminates you just long enough for me to see the internal struggle happening between your eyebrows
I can hear the wind blow over my ears even though all the windows are closed

I want to touch you
But what's more, I want you to touch me

I measure the minutes by how many times you almost say my name
But stop short
And then we're in my driveway
Resting at a stop with the cool night air threatening to crush your car to a pulp

Do you...
You look at me
Love me?*
You look down and your eyes stay there
I see no shadows on your hidden face

And then I'm moving my body in one smooth motion to escape the trap you've set for me in your stupid car on this stupid night with your stupid lips and your stupid laugh and your too tender words that shatter when they should soothe

One foot on the ground
Then two
One step
Two
Three
Four
Deliberately away from you and the poison that you sung into my veins
Away from your touch that felt simultaneously like frostbite and heatstroke

You don't run after me
You don't yell my name in panicked deliberation

Instead
You put your car in reverse and pull out in one motion
Careful not to glide over the lawn and leave track marks to remind me of the place you almost had me pinned down to you

And so I am left with fire in my veins and ice in my cheeks on my front step
Fists clenched in tight determination to not let the stars see me cry for you

Because I am too beautiful to be shedding tears over someone who can't whisper my name
Or touch my hands

I am too lovely to spill over myself for someone who is a closed bottle of emotion and lovelessness

I am too full to be drained by someone without the ability to synthesize their own being

I am too brave to let someone steal my hands and wrap them up to never come undone
I am too good for you
I am
And you know it