I lost my virginity in a church parking lot. I took holy sanction for an act that was unclean because it was with someone I did not love. In fact I barely knew him.

I lost my virginity in a church parking lot, and I should have known then that was the beginning of a walk in the shadows, away from salvation.

Its been years since I've walked through church doors, except for the occasional funeral. I never talk to God unless my heart is swelling with pain.

Its been years since I have been the person I should be, my high school experience being filled with days being too intoxicated to function, pills and a hospital visit, wounds made by my own hand and too much self hatred for one person to stand.

I lost my virginity in a church parking lot, but its been years since I've walked through church doors.