It’s not something that I need
Just something that I know
When did I become so comfortable
With being miserable?

I know how this goes,
It works until it stops working.
And this time I had a pretty good run.
But no matter what I do,
It never feels like enough.

I know where I am,
I’ve been here before.
I didn’t think I would again
But this is the result of letting things get of out hand

It gets the better of me
And it’s so easy
To slip, and activate this cycle
While it’s so difficult,
To do what is best:
Follow the steps.

I don’t want to continue meeting dead ends.
Having to always begin again.

And again, and again, and again.


The best medicine is something I’ve already done.
At this time, it’s not an available option.

Though it would probably be the best
Rather than this mess:
A homemade version of recovery I’ve created.
The bootleg copy
Not even left over’s, just crumbs.
Something equivalent to a Band Aid applied on a broken bone.

Tonight I chose healthy coping.
Process everything through journaling.
Funny how
How pain brings out
The best insight;
Sometimes the best of what I write.