It’s so cliché:
the view from the plane during lift-off.
We’ve all heard about the neatly lain world beneath us,
more shapes than we knew possible to make
with our roads and landscapes,
the twists and turns that make us dizzy
when we live in them
but from above seem small,
almost easy,
almost remarkable.

I like it up here,
considering the world so neat and tidy.
Here I don’t need to dive into
any confusion.
Feelings of doubt float away
and cave in,
the way my chest caves
from the air pressure.
Up here
my heart is a rock.
Down there
my heart is a boulder.

I could watch the world forever
if it meant I’d never break.
I could watch the world forever
if it meant I’d never drown.

I couldn’t watch the world forever
if it meant I’d never feel.
I couldn’t watch the world forever
if it meant I’d never live.

So, dive in with me,
laugh with me,
love with me,
hurt with me,
let this pain consume me
so I can feel the way it seeps out of my wounds
so slowly
when they are ready to heal.
Then heal with me.
Give in with me.
Feel with me.

I miss that.
And I didn’t know it until now.

Are you ready?
Because I’m not.
But that doesn’t matter anymore.

We’re coming in for landing.