What will you be doing?
The unknown has always been the monster under my bed.
So I ask again,
what will you be doing?
I need to know so that we can keep this love
alive.

You’ll be off and you might not be able to tell me where.
You’ll be off and you might not be coming back.
You’ll be off building things up,
or blowing them up.
That is your life.

I need to drive up to a high cliff.
I need to get as close to God as I can
and I need to ask him,
“Will I be with this boy when he’s off fighting for me, for our country?
God please tell me because I need to know how to prepare my heart.
You gave me the gift of planning,
now let me use it.
Do I need to plan for heartbreak,
for endless worry that eats me alive during the day,
for death?
Do I need to plan for him not wishing to come back?”

You’ll be off god knows where but I’ll be here.
I’ll be in a library studying
or in my room trying to catch my breath
or in the gym pretending that each stride brings me closer to you.
Yes I’ll be here finishing my last few years of school just so I can call myself a doctor.

But please dear boy, stay alive.
Find the will to stay alive.
Stay alive for me and for your mother.
Find the will or I know that I will lose you.
Do not make me counsel myself over a wounded heart and a shattered hope.
Please dear boy, don’t make me live this life alone,
you know how hard it’s been
for both of us.

You’ll be off god knows where.
What will you be doing
as I put my life on hold waiting for you to find your way back
to me?