I thought you would be sobbing when I was gone,
Little did I know that I would be the one
Broken and torn down;
Overwhelmed by everything all around.
Forced to face the fears
That I've had my whole life,
To think this misery could all be taken away
With the stroke of one kitchen knife.
A blade. Jagged on one side like my personality,
Face down in the kitchen drawer-
Let everyone see the smooth side of me,
It's almost appealing.
But it's still a knife,
And the thoughts of its uses
Gives me chills,
But sends others reeling.
Numb. How I wish to spend most nights,
If not caused by a knife
Then some substance or alcohol
Or maybe pills- and being propped up against a wall.
No one would notice-
If I was gone and missing for days,
My seat would be empty in class,
My rotting corpse in my room, but no one would notice.
Cold, chilling thoughts roam my mind,
Masterpieces I create in my head,
Leave me up late wondering,
"What would the world be like, if I was dead"?