(i wish something mattered
anything
i wish i mattered
somewhere
to someone)

there are so many things i never wanted to know
and now they won't leave
i never wanted to know
i do not want to know

i don't want to think
i want to be ignorant and unaware
i want to lose my mind and let myself go

it's hurting very suddenly
stabbing ripping tearing slipping
skull enclosing and collapsing
brains squelching out crevices

there are so many things i never wanted to know
but i didn't get a choice

there are so many things i didn't want to feel
but i didn't have a choice

i wish something mattered
i wish i mattered

there are so many things